Your Inner Strength

A few months ago, I entered the darkest time of my life. This was before the pandemic, and had been building for a while but I hadn't realized it was coming. I don't want or need to go into details, for while the finer points are unique to me, the overall situation is universal: we enter the Darkness and face our deepest self. We face our mortality, what we care most about, and who we truly are in the network of our community. 

In the midst of this I encountered a defining moment. I felt and connected to a glowing energy deep in my core that said, "No matter what, this is your Strength. This is part of your True Self, deep, directly connected to God/Spirit. Center in this space and all is well."

Imagine you have a cave system, like a cenote that goes deep into the earth. Now imagine it is seen as the ancestors no doubt regarded these seemingly endless cave systems - a cenote that ties into the Spirit realms. That is how this space feels. Deeper than Spacetime. Accessible through my core. Strong, warm, whole. Unconditional.

I go here to meditate, to sit in the space that says: Be Still, and Know that I am Here. It's a space to inhabit when I'm feeling afraid, or getting triggered. For part of this phase of life is that I am being shown the trauma of my past and helped to release it. I need that deep, unconditional Presence to help me through. It does help, for it shows me the bigger energy of unfolding and lets me know I will be okay, although I don't know really what "okay" means anymore.

Have you found this space in you? If you get quiet, deeply still, and open to your core, what do you find? It is Joy, Light, Strength, Solid Authenticity, Your Soul.  Can you inhabit it? It will get you through anything. What if we were all able to center in this True Self and relate to others through this lens? Can you imagine a world like that? I believe miracles come from there, for it is our conscious connection with Creation, Christ, the Creator, Spirit, the Goddess. It's also how we relate to others' true selves, which many people are unable to do. We're all so wrapped up in our fears, projections, and avoiding vulnerability at all costs.

I invite you to enter the cenote with me.

I hold a vision of a world where we See each other's Strength and Truth in all we do.

So mote it be.

November 30 - Grounding

In Living Earth Devotional I discuss grounding by imagining your body's energetic roots growing deep int the earth. I am leading a Bible study at The Land, an ecumenical Christian faith community in Aurora, Colorado. This is leading me to look up Bible verses, something that hasn't been a huge part of my faith until now. I'm actually loving seeing how Bible scripture supports my mystical, liberal, deeply ecumenical spirituality. It's beautiful to read the Bible from a Christ Consciousness perspective. So let's see what the Good Book has to say about roots and grounding.

Ephesians 3:17
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love...

"Christ" to me is Christ Consciousness or the Cosmic Christ, which can be found in all of us, and is awaking in all of us. And the nature of Christ Consciousness and the Universe is Love. So this passage speaks about how being grounded, or putting your roots deep into the Earth, is about reaching ourselves into Love. We are established on Earth through Love. 
 
                                  ~~~

Colossians 2:6-7  Therefore, just as you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him, established in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. 

When we are rooted in the blessings of this life, and in the bigger picture of Christ, we overflow with gratitude. 

                                  ~~~~

Matthew 15:3 But He answered and said, "Every plant which My heavenly Father did not plant shall be uprooted."

Jesus speaks in parables about the Earth a lot. This passage is usually interpreted as people who aren't good Christians will... I'm not sure - go to "hell"? I don't see it this way, for God planted us all, and planted all the plants, "planted" everything. So what is Jesus saying here? I think he is saying that the darkness that we carry within, the belief that we are no good or that we are not loved (what hell truly is) - those beliefs were not planted by God, and those will eventually perish when we come to know that we are also Christed ones. 


Blessed be!

Study on Creation Spirituality at The Land: Part Two

I've recently found a faith community called The Land,  a Methodist-based outdoor church dedicated to social justice and the Earth.

I have been leading the morning study using Matthew Fox's book Creation Spirituality: Liberating Gifts for the Peoples of the Earth. I am sharing the class curriculum plus a few notes here. Read class one here.

Here is class two.

Creation Spirituality at The Land, Class Two

In the beginning was the gift.

…All shall be called children of the gift,

Sons and daughters of grace,

For all generations. (from pages 1, 4 of Creation Spirituality by Matthew Fox)

The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words; their voice is not heard; yet their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. (Psalm 19:1-4)

Essential question: How would we behave differently if we regarded life and the Earth as a gift? Why don’t we?

Definitions:

Mystic: One who responds with joy and awe to the Universe, who finds God through and in all things – not pantheistic but panentheistic. One who sees the Christ in all and seeks to awaken the Christ in themselves. 

Part of the reason mysticism is seen as "crazy" in Western mainstream society is that we have what is known in psychology as an intensity tolerance. Our culture often scorns a sense of wonder. It's just "too much."

Panentheism: We are in God, and God is in us.

Theologically, God is understood to be both “transcendent” and “immanent”—transcendent, meaning above and beyond all that is, but also immanent, meaning “indwelling” or abiding within and pervading all of creation. Some people may feel uneasy about thinking of God as being present in all creation. However, such an awareness of God’s presence is not to be confused with “pantheism”—the worship of natural items or entities as God, or gods. Another term that some have used in recent years to help make that distinction, is “pan-en-theism,” an understanding that God is in (“en”) all that is, as well as above and beyond all that is. God’s indwelling love and grace inspires and calls forth what we might think of as the “hymn of all creation.” (from “Awakening to God’s Call to Earthkeeping,” session 2)

Cosmic Christ: The archetype of Christ – God’s love, the Christ in all – found in all of Creation. The sense that the Universe is an expression of the Christ. The Christ was present in the Universe before the Big Bang, and was expressed through Jesus.

We are God’s work of art, created in Christ Jesus to live the good life as from the beginning God had meant us to live it.”–Ephesians 2:10 (92 of CC) (for other translations, see https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Ephesians%202:10)

He is the image of the unseen God, and the firstborn of all Creation. In Christ were created all things in heaven and on earth: everything visible and invisible… before anything was created, Christ existed, and Christ holds all things in unity. – Col. 1:15-17   

“a pattern that connects.” – subatomic particles…..

Prophet: the prophet is the mystic in action – they struggle with inertia and injustice. They act, teach, bring their compassion into the world.

The Four Paths (to God, to awakening)

Via Positiva – awe, falling in love

Via Negativa – darkness, suffering, letting go – Dark Night of the Soul

Via Creativa – joyful co-creation with God

Via Tranformativa – justice and action as praise, compassion

“An impoverishment of the soul exists within ‘First World’ countries: the means for a just existence are within our grasp, but our wills, our social structures, and our imagination have yet proven adequate for that struggle.” – xiii

What does a just existence look like? Why do we struggle to create that for all? What can we do individually or as a community to promote that?

“We cannot have authentic human justice without engaging equally in the struggle for justice toward our home, the planet earth. There is no need to choose… we are too interdependent for that.” (35)

“Compassion is the working out of our interconnectedness; it is the [action taking, practice of] our interconnectedness.” (36)

-         What about when the wolf eats the deer? Is that compassionate? What about when we extend that argument to humans? (timescale – the deer is the mountain)

People will not say, ‘Look, God’s kingdom is here!’ or, ‘There it is!’ No, God’s kingdom is within you.” – Luke 17:21

If the kingdom of God, or the Cosmic Christ, is within us, and we are within it, and all things are held in unity through Christ – not because we believe or “accept” anything but because it is just SO – and all things are interdependent, then God’s Kingdom is all of Creation, including us, the land, the geese, the beetles, the snakes, etc. How does or could this inspire our choices, our actions?

Closing scripture:

For what can be known about God is plain to [humanity], because God has shown it to them. Ever since the creation of the world his invisible nature, namely, his eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. --Romans 1:19-20

Study on Creation Spirituality at The Land: Class One

I've recently found a faith community that fits me like a gloves. That has always seemed impossible, as I practice what Matthew Fox calls deep ecumenism. I am primarily a mystical Christian, with a heavy dose of Pagan, and a healthy dash of Buddhist. This community is called The Land, and they are a Methodist-based outdoor church dedicated to social justice and the Earth.

I have been leading the morning study using Matthew Fox's book Creation Spirituality: Liberating Gifts for the Peoples of the Earth. I am sharing the class curriculum plus a few notes here.

Class One of Creation Spirituality

I borrowed some of the material from ELCA's Awakening to God’s call to Earthkeeping. 

Read: The universe had been developing for some 8-10 billion years prior to Earth’s appearing.

The Earth was “born” nearly 5 billion years ago. It is part of a solar system, that is itself part of the Milky Way galaxy; and our solar system is in what you might call the “backwaters”—an outer arm— of our spiral galaxy.

Our Milky Way galaxy contains about 300-400 billion stars, many similar to our Sun, with planetary bodies of their own. Our home galaxy moves in relationship to a group of some 26 other galaxies, known as a “cluster;” ours is called the “Local Group.”

This so named Local Group cluster of galaxies is, itself, part of a group of over 1000 clusters, making up what is called the Virgo Supercluster.

Now try to imagine a single supercluster as a white dot—remember that it contains hundreds, if not thousands, of galaxies, themselves containing billions of stars …there are estimated to be something on the order of 10 million such “dots,” such superclusters, spread across the vast expanse of space.

[pause] It’s about more than our human minds can conceive of, isn’t it? Does this sort of knowledge shake our faith, or fill us with awe and wonder, or a sense of humility and gratitude?

We discussed our responses, and then read scripture that applied. I am new to using scripture to back up what I say, but I feel if I can find Bible passages that support what I am teaching, then it is less likely to be met with suspicion.

Scripture

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 3:18-19

I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may filled with all the fullness of God.

Psalm 104: 30

When you send forth your Spirit, they [the creatures, the earth, the heavens] are created; and you renew the face of the ground.

Psalm 8:1, 3-6a.

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the Earth!

When we look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars that you have established, we cannot help but wonder: what are human beings that you are even mindful of them, mortals that you so care for them? Yet you have made them a little lower than God, and crowned them with glory and honor. You have placed us on this Earth and given us dominion over the work of your hands.

Questions

Read poem at beginning of book and discuss how society might be different if this was taught from the beginning.

·         When you consider our physical location within the universe, do you find it humbling? Frightening? Exciting? Other feelings?

·         How does your consideration of the vastness, mystery, and wonder of our universe influence your sense of the immensity of God’s love for us?

·         Knowing what we do of the universe, does it increase or decrease the significance of humans? Does it, should it, affect how we relate to one another and the natural world around us? How we relate to God?

·         What is your hopeful vision, as a child of God, for how humans should live on the Earth in connection with the rest of creation?

Sitting Dragonfly Vigil

Yesterday I stepped out back to pick a green onion for my breakfast, and discovered a dead dragonfly on the patio. I knelt down to pick him up and he began whirring his wings; he wasn't dead, just dying. I shooed the cat away and brought the beautiful blue and black creature into the house. I gave him a drop of water, which made his wings beat and his legs move. Clearly he couldn't fly anymore. I couldn't think of how to help him, and recalled that dragonflies don't live very long in their adult form. I could, however, make him safe from cats and other predators and give him a place of honor on my kitchen counter, holding the space for him as he passed into Light.

His eyes were like geometric blue opals. They had a depth to them, like a glass gem or a bead of water. My four-year-old remarked that the dragonfly's patterns on his body reminded him of a totem pole. I covered him with a bug-box lid so the cat wouldn't get him but he could breathe, and we left for our trip to the science museum.

When we returned, I thought he had passed, but when I touched him one leg moved. His opalescent eyes had turned a dull black from the top down, with just a crescent of blue at the bottom. I gave him Reiki, hoping it would ease his transition. While he was "just" a bug, he was fierce and beautiful, and I at least wanted to honor his slow death.

When he died, his eyes were completely black. You could literally see the life force leave him through his eyes.

I set him on my altar. Dragonfly is about illusion, and I am writing a book about Zen right now, which is all about the illusions we carry in our heads about life, about each and every thing we encounter. The problem is not that we live in illusion, it is that we think the illusion is "real." Dragonfly teaches us to hold the dichotomy of illusion and what we call reality. He teaches us about the illusion of life and death, and the dichotomy of death being real and final, and not.

I give thanks to the Universe for gifting me this honor of holding vigil while a beautiful Blue Eyed Darner. Aho.













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For more ways to live in harmony with the living earth,
check out my book Living Earth Devotional by Clea Danaan

Passion and Power

I'm following my own devotional, Living Earth Devotional: 365 Green Practices for Sacred Connection, and have stopped by to share some thoughts. I'd love to hear yours as well.

"Balance" by Courtney Putnam,
http://rising-bird.com/art/art-gallery/

Nov 8, The Cave: The darkness brought me to my Dan Tien, the place of power just below the navel. It
reminded me as I go through these shifts and awakenings at this time to always return to this center so that I do not burn out again.

Nov 9, Dreams: I realized recently that a recurring dream of mine where I am trying to save people from an erupting volcano isn't just from memories of Mt St Helens, nor is it just about my martyr complex. I realized the volcano is me, too. I am trying to "save" people from my own passion. I am distraught that I cannot. Passion was too overwhelming to my family. I've been trying to dampen it forever.

Another recurring dream of mine is being in a house - the house changes in every dream - and I discover new rooms, furniture left behind that is perfect for me, floors beneath floors, and so on. In a recent version, the new room we discovered was actually a huge greenhouse, and I was thrilled. I assume this dream is about my discovering new parts of myself, but I haven't really uncovered it's full meaning yet. But looking at my volcano dream, I am trying to uncover hidden parts of myself, trying to share them with the world. Hmm.

"Key to Happiness" by Courtney Putnam,
http://rising-bird.com/art/art-gallery/

Nov 10, Birds: A bird landed in our neighbor's tree the other day, and I couldn't tell what kind of bird it was. The size of a crow, but shaped differently, and hidden behind a branch. Also, the bird feeder I put out has not been discovered yet, though it's been out for two weeks. Something is about to reveal itself to me. Something is still hidden.




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If you want some amazing original art in your life, visit my friend Courtney's online store, http://risingbirdartstore.miiduu.com/original-art.

A Devotional that is Christian and Pagan, with a twist...

A few people have indicated that they felt my latest book Living Earth Devotional focuses on Creation instead of Creator. From my perspective, focusing on Creation is focusing on the Creator. Sort of like looking at a painting to learn more about the artist. I think the word "devotional" has confused some people, who were looking for Biblical words to center God in their heart. I use the word devotional to imply not just devotion to deity (though for me it's part of that), but also to God's Creation, our own sacred lives, and the active, living intersection of all three. It implies practice or discipline, a regular action or prayer that centers us in our spiritual paths. I understand this doesn't make sense to some people, who regard these strands as separate, or feel that using the Book of Nature to learn more about Spirit is somehow sacrilege. But to me, God/dess, life, nature, love, devotions: these are all a woven tapestry of sacred living.

I continually contemplate and pray about the nexus of "Christianity" and "Paganism." I put these words in quotation marks because they have become such loaded labels, and so often a person doesn't really know what they mean for whomever is calling herself a Christian or a Pagan. To me, Christianity is about following the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. But even then, how those teachings are interpreted varies. I take a wisdom or mystical approach. Jesus came to teach us about how we can enter the Kingdom, by which I believe he meant Christ consciousness, a spiritual evolution open to all. For more on this, see Wisdom Jesus or The Meaning of Mary Magdalene by Cynthia Bourgeault. Pagansim to me is about honoring the Earth as sacred. Not just something we human have "dominion" over, but a sacred expression of Mystery's powers of Creation. I see the natural world as a path to knowing God/dess.

A Catholic friend of mine once said she considered Pagans as people who worship Creation instead of the Creator. There are Pagans who worship nature itself, but Paganism is extremely varied in its expression. Most Pagans I know "worship" or look to some sort of higher transcendent power, though the face of this power also varies. If we see Deity in nature, it is not that the tree itself (for instance) is deity, but rather the tree is sort of a reflection or pathway to seeing God.

I think that the fact that we are here on this Earth speaks of the Earth and this life as sacred expressions of God's grace and mystery. It is therefore infinitely precious, sacred, and part of God. My beliefs sit at the intersections of Christianity and Paganism, and it is from this place that I wrote Living Earth Devotional. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and reflections on the book from all perspectives.

Announcing Living Earth Devotional by Clea Danaan

Life is the Soul's Gestation

By Clea Danaan

As I meditated on the idea of being in the womb, surrounded by love, acceptance, and welcome, an image occurred to me of being in the womb of the Goddess. An idea became clear to me: Life is the soul's gestation. On earth we are wrapped in the Goddess' womb, and at death we are born into our soul's bigger life, the soul self that has it's own special place in the universe. Life is about developing the tools we as a soul need to... what? do what souls do. As much as a fetus in his mother's womb cannot conceptualize of his place earthside, we can only dream and wonder and get little clues about what life beyond life might be. And because God is generous and loving, we get multiple chances, sort of like if you needed more time in the womb and could go back in to cook for a while. It's sort of what we're searching for with stem cell research, it seems. But within this life, this gestation, we only get one chance at that time inside. Physical gestation is a time between the worlds. A transition space to grow our earth vessel. Then we are born to this life within the Goddess' womb, preparing best we can to be born into the Goddess/God's greater Life.

We are all bees in the Hive

A hive cannot exist without its bees, nor can a single bee exist for long without the hive. The hive's task: transformation of sweetness and light into nourishment and deeper sweetness. Every bee has a job, which changes as she grows older. She helps raise the young, feed the queen, guard the hive, and gather nectar and pollen. When she has flown her wings to nothing, she dies peacefully and her sisters remove her from the hive, where she becomes one with the land that nourished her. Male bees have the very important job of carrying on the genetic code so that hives can be strong and plants can be fertilized and grow fruitful. The queen's job is to lay eggs, ensuring the future of the hive.

I got this idea lifetimes ago that I needed to be bigger than I am, more powerful, caring for others that nothing bad could ever happen. But my insight today was this: I am not a hive, I am a bee. I have my job, and it is crucial to the great Hive, but I am not a Hive and I need not do the job of a hive. It is not my job to save anyone when it wasn't their time to be pulled from the water. Or in the metaphor of bees, it is not my job to make all the honey by myself. Only to provide the piece of the puzzle I am called to right now, and to sing my song of connection and creation.

We know our tasks by following the light, the nectar of life, and the hum of our Hive. That hum come from individual bees and from the whole collective. At this point I am called to be still, to listen, and to let my task be revealed.

May your place in the light be made clear, my friend. Blessed Bee!

Panic Attacks and Pear Trees

I'm going through some shit. Don't know if it's a Dark Night of the Soul, or what, but I'm coming apart at the seams. I also don't know what started it all, or how long it will last, or any useful information that would still my freaking-out head a little bit. But there are layers: something I'm trying to write, which is forcing me to deal with some old, shoved-under-the-rug emotions; a psychic reading my hubby received; general stress about doing everything right; cutting out sugar; and heightened food sensitivities. All of these layers have woven together into a tapestry called Panic Attacks. Racing heart, sweaty palms and feet, dizziness, fear, and jelly legs. Got tested for hypoglycemia, anemia, and thyroid problems. All fine. Trying to gently allow the stuffed anger, sadness, and fear to come up. Trying to not get completely overwhelmed. Putting my life on hold, which is hard when I'm a homeschooling mom to two smart and emotionally sensitive kids.

While I feel frightened and overwhelmed, I am also receiving little signs of support from the universe. All one can do in the middle of a panic attack is breathe, or try to, and pray. And today, in little nudges, I got some small assurance that everything happens within God's arms, and I will be okay. Like a song the kids haven't played in ages that they played on repeat, a song from my childhood that brings up layers of sadness and also a sense of being cared for. Like in the midst of my creating a rebirth/spring altar, my nursery plants arrived (pear, forsythia, and grape!), and I had just enough time to put them in the ground before it rained. Like the rain, which calms my selkie self and reminds me that it's okay to cry.

As I planted one of the dwarf pears, I shook apart the rock-hard clay soil that hadn't seen sunlight in possibly 60 years, and I let it represent the old stuck parts of me, the fear of being myself. Thunder rolled in the distance, and at first I felt afraid, for people do get struck by lightning here, but then I let it be the fire of transformation, the flash of anger I need to safely let out, and the passion I am trying to allow myself to own. Then I planted the little dormant tree and asked the devas to ground pear in my yard. I dedicated these pears to the sweetness of growth, and to crafting life where there was stuckness.

So mote it be.

Nature Mysticism in Children's Books

I'll update this blog post as I come across more books that express nature mysticism or a sacred connection with nature in children's books. Bonus points for beautiful illustrations!

If you have any suggestions, please let me know in the comments!




Singing Down the Rain by Joy Coley


Step into a small town where all the children are friends, but a brought has made the adults so grumpy they can't stop arguing! Only a miracle can heal this divided town. People are so hopeless, they almost don't recognise that that miracle when it appears as a women who specialises in rainsongs, Yet slowly the townspeople realise that with this faith they can sustain each other during the dry times, and then sing down the rain together.



Under the Lemon Moon by Edith Hope Fine

One night Rosalinda is awakened by a noise in the family’s garden. She is astonished to see a man creeping away with a sack of fruit from her beloved lemon tree. Rosalinda seeks out La Anciana for advice. The wise old woman offers an inventive way to help the tree and the man driven to steal her lemons. Set in the Mexican countryside, this charming story explores how it feels to get gifts — and to give them. 

 The Secret Place  by Eve Bunting

A small boy finds a secret place in the city that he shares with a white egret, mallards, and even ducklings. A book about finding nature in the heart of the grunginess of the city, and a child's connection with that sacred discovery.

What Does the Sky Say?  by Nancy White Calstrom

"What does the sky say?" a child asks. What does it say on a winter day, or on a Saturday night, or when the rain beats on its chest, or its mouth is full of moon? A child watches the sky in changing seasons and in all kinds of weather and learns to listen to its voice. In "What Does the Sky Say?", author Nancy White Carlstrom's imaginative and poetic text encourages all readers, both very young and older, to wake up to and participate in the opportunities for joy and learning each day offers. And Tim Ladwig's extraordinary illustrations perfectly capture the moods of weather and season, the magic of childhood, and our deep connection to all creation and its Creator.

Owl Moon by Jane Yolen

"As expansive as the broad sweep of the great owl's wings and as close and comforting as a small hand held on a wintry night . . . The visual images have a sense of depth and seem to invite readers into this special nighttime world."--School Library Journal, starred review. Full color. 1988 Caldecott Medal Book.

Discussion Questions for Clea Danaan's Sacred Land

"In this positive and practical handbook, Danaan shows how organic gardening can germinate environmental awareness and political change while feeding your spirit. You'll learn how to plan and plant your garden, create compost, save seeds, conserve and transmute water, connect with garden goddesses, and incorporate planetary energy in your garden." - From Llewellyn.com

Thinking of studying Sacred Land in a group? Or delving more deeply into your own intuitive organic gardening practices? Here are a few study and discussion questions to help you get started.

Discussion Questions for Sacred Land

Earth

1. What messages, sensations, and images do you receive when you "tune in" to the soil? Is doing a practice like this strange to you? What fears or concerns do you have about "talking" to dirt? 
2. What shifts for you when you consider a garden a co-creation with nature? What ideas germinate when you enter into such a relationship with the land?
3. Many people first notice nature spirits or the energy of the land through trees. What sacred experiences with trees have you had?
4. What can you do to increase the local and organic food you eat? As a group or a family, take it on as a project. If you already eat mostly organic and local, how can you help others do the same?

Air

1. Discuss your intentions for your home, garden, and community. How can you call on the power of air to bring these ideas into the world?
2. Do you fear insects? Why? Take some time to get to know them better. What teachings have bees, dragonflies, and even mosquitoes taught you?
3. What birds show up in your life regularly? Have they a message?

Fire

1. Everything we see, eat, touch, and hear exists because of the sun. What happens when you meditate on this idea for a few moments?
2. The fire goddess Chantico teaches us about pleasure and pain. When have you felt this keen edge? What has it taught you about life?
3. What does it mean to you to reclaim your passion? How can you begin to do this?

 

Water

1. We are emotional beings of water. As you read this chapter, what do you notice about your awareness of and relationship with water in your daily life?
2. If you are working with a group, practice transmutation (p 208).
3. What is your work as a sacred sister?

You will find more discussion questions at the end of Sacred Land, on page 229. 

Elusive Holliday Spirit

I've been lacking the holiday spirit something fierce this year. I was even feeling a pretty deep bout of depression, and though that has passed, I still look at the Yule tree and feel... nothing. Maybe a little annoyed. Certainly not sparkly and excited.

I remember my mom hating Christmas. She felt stressed by not having money and annoyed that we had to attend a requisite family party with people she didn't like very much. An agnostic, she didn't feel inspired by the nativity. A working-class mom, she didn't really have anything to look forward to like a family vacation or big gifts. I remember feeling sad for her, and puzzled. Now I find myself feeling similarly - but still not really understanding it.

I discussed some of these feelings with my husband, who mostly had big happy Christmases as a boy. He pointed out that part of the season is darkness. That feeling that darkness, even in the absence of specific stresses or causes of grief, is normal and maybe even healthy, if not honored in our consumerist, tech-heavy culture. That helped, but still I longed for that sparkly feeling I had as a kid.

This evening the white lights of the Yule tree gently illuminate the dark living room. A tiny sliver of that old feeling smoldered somewhere in my chest. I contemplated the sensory details of Christmas that make up the season for me: the sweetness of  pine and citrusy oranges, the glow of white and colored lights in the cold darkness, wood smoke filtering through the night, the tangy smell of Scotch tape. It is that smell, Scotch tape, that illuminated my sense of loss this year.

A big part of Christmas as a child was getting gifts. Not the greed of stuff, but the delicious anticipation of mysteries revealed: what was in those brightly wrapped packages? Dig through the packing peanuts for oddly shaped parcels from Grandma Bobbie. Appreciate the crisp, precise corners and shiny, narrow tape on gifts from Grandma Dulin and Aunt Sharon. Learn to not expect much on Christmas day, for Dad would say it would be a "small" Christmas this year, and I would assure him I didn't care; and then gifts would overflow beneath the tree - what mystery of where it all came from!

Christmas -- and Yule as well -- is about mystery. What is that big star in the sky? What is the gift of this babe in the manger? How can this young girl Mary birth a child? Will the Sun return? In the wrapped gifts and lights in darkness, we honor mystery.

Then the other sensory delights: coffee and a bookstore with my dad. Cookies baked and turkeys roasted. The tradition for several years of my aunt Jo's spicy sausage in spaghetti on Christmas Eve.  Then sitting together and opening gifts on the bright morning of Christmas Day. Family - coziness - safety.

That is the other side of the season - being safe. Safe around the fire while the wolves howl out in the snowy night. This juxtaposition of safety and mystery has been with this season for millenia. With our wrapped gifts and strung lights and caroling we experience many of the same feelings our ancestors did.

And this year, as the mom who knows what's in all the wrapped boxes, who makes all the plans and cooks much of the food, I feel little sense of mystery. And in light of shootings and kidnappings and climate change, I also don't feel particularly safe. I feel tired and afraid and I'm not expecting any miracles. So, no holiday spirit.

I want it back, that sense of safety and mystery. Perhaps, understanding the nature of my loss, I can regain it a little by listening lightly to the quiet beneath the bustle. Noticing appreciation when it arises, rather than forcing myself into an "attitude of gratitude." Allowing the grace of the season to fall like a snowflake onto dry grass, or land like a chickadee on the feeder - not forcing or bursting forth, but just sensing the grace present and allowing it to be in a moment of thanks.

Integral Dark Green Religion

I'm reading Bron Taylor's scholarly Dark Green Religion: Nature Spirituality and the Planetary Future. He presents an interesting survey and history of "religion that considers nature to be sacred, imbued with intrinsic value, and worthy of reverent care," (ix) which differs from green religion, "which posits that environmentally friendly behavior is a religious obligation" (10). His definition of religion is broader than some would have it, including any all-encompassing attitude towards nature that affects a person's behavior and lifestyle as well as her convictions about what is sacred. He uses not only Starhawk, but the movie Lion King, crocodile enthusiast Steve Irwin, and scientist Jane Goodall as examples of exemplars of dark green religion. He devotes an entire chapter to surfing culture as a similar exemplar. He identifies four types of dark green religion: Spiritual Animism, Naturalistic Animism, Gaian Spirituality, and Gaian Naturalism. Spiritualism includes religions/perspectives that include unseen forces like gods and fairies, while naturalism regards nature as the power itself. He argues that most examples of dark green religion are constructed of a bricolage, or blend of these perspectives and that most people are not strictly in one camp.

I like Taylor's view of religion as broader than what one usually considers religion. At first I was a little resistant to the idea, but as I read his discussion, it makes perfect sense. It's no stranger than viewing, say, capitalism as a religion.

One aspect I find missing from the book, though, is the idea that dark green religion and green religion are not mutually exclusive, nor are Abrahamic religions always completely exclusive to regarding nature as intrinsically sacred. And while Taylor is not evaluating dark green religions, just discussing them, I keep thinking about the distinction between pre-trans and trans-ego views of spirituality. I think a discussion of these views (though somewhat tangential to his thesis) would be interesting, if only because these underlying perspectives will affect how proponents of dark green religion make policies and argue their case for the care of nature. (For a discussion of the pre-trans fallacy, please see here.) Something for me to contemplate, anyway, of what integral dark green religion looks like. I guess you could call me a Christian Mystical Gaian Spiritualist who seeks to transcend and include, who views nature as deeply sacred and alive while also turning to the mystical teachings of the soul to understand my and others' place in the Universe.

Divinity Within

Don't you love it when you find someone who "gets it"? In doing research for my current project, I discovered Dianne Sylvan's nonfiction works. Dianne is a Wiccan author who has an urban vampire series. She is also the author of The Circle Within and  The Body Sacred. The first is about the deeper spiritual aspects of Wicca, and the second is about the sacredness of the body. Good stuff.

I am a follower of the teachings of Mystical Christianity, Buddhism, and Wicca. So I appreciate how Sylvan includes (briefly) the former two paths in her understanding of Wicca. I particularly wanted to share this quote:

The point of Wicca, the real mystery behind it all, is to remember the Divinity within ourselves and all things; to manifest our God and Goddess all the time, every day, every moment; to love as They love, to give as They give; to serve Them in perfect trust, and thus bring Their grace more fully into the world; to understand that we are the embodiment of the Divine love and nurture, and to express that love in the world; to walk as God and Goddess. (The Circle Within, p 5)

Which is, interestingly, the point of wisdom (or mystical) Christianity. In The Wisdom Jesus, Episcopal priest Cynthia Bourgeault writes:

What [Jesus] has in mind is a complete, mutual indwelling: I am in God, God is in you, you are in God, we are in each other. His most beautiful symbol for this is in the teaching in John 15 where he says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Abide in me as I in you." A few verses later he says, "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love." While he does indeed claim that "the Father and I are one" (John 10:30) -- a statement so blasphemous to Jewish ears that it nearly gets him stoned -- he does not see this as an exclusive privilege but as something shared by all human beings. ...There is no separation between humans and God because of this mutual interabiding which expresses the indivisible reality of divine love. We flow into God -- and God into us -- because it is the nature of love to flow. (p 31)

May your day be filled with the flow of love as you grow every closer to your own Divine self. Namaste!

Manifestation and Synchronicity

Things keep popping up in pairs and threes. Inconsequential things, mostly. Like Sears and Roebuck, specifically pointing out the now-defunct Roebuck part, appearing in two novels in a row. Little House on the Prairie mentioned in books and by people several times in two days. My dreaming about a person who out of the blue messages my husband (before I dreamed about him and without my knowledge). Three people posting Mary Oliver on Facebook in one day. Oh, and the day three unrelated Facebook friends mentioned drool in their updates. Silly things. Yet things that make you wonder.

Sometimes themes in my life offer a message, like the day a picture of my father, who passed away three years ago, appeared on Facebook (hmm, another theme!) (and, I should add that I bet there is a total of two pictures of him on Facebook, hard as that is to believe) and then half an hour later I get in the car and his favorite classical piece is playing on the radio. He's saying hello. But these little themes, like drool, really don't matter. Rather than making significance out of inconsequential things, I started to look at what energy lies beneath the pairs, rather than the pairs themselves. (Oh, I'm having a hard time making sense.) So, for instance, it's not the drool or Little House on the Prairie that matters, it's the energetic and emotional response that these images pull up for me that matters. An author mentions Little House on the Prairie, and while it's not central to the story, it's important to the main character. I remember being nine years old, sitting in our ratty burnt-orange recliner in the corner of the living room, reading for hours on end about Laura. A little energy burst goes off in my heart, tiny enough that I don't pay the burst any attention, but emotional enough that it creates a form in spacetime. Then that form pulls on the strings of causal reality, and a friend I'm hanging out with the next day casually mentions Little House on the Prairie.

A few years ago I entered to win a basket of natural and organic sundae fixin's from a natural food store. Chocolate sauce, natural sprinkles, an ice cream scoop, that sort of thing. As I filled out the form, I thought lightly and happily of my boyfriend's response should I win. He loves ice cream. Then, because it was such a silly inconsequential thing, I thought nothing more of it. I won the basket. Again - I felt an emotional response to this thing, but let it go. I think that is the key to synchronicities and to manifestation. There has to be an emotional response in order to create the thought form, as it is sometimes called, but it can't be clung to. And of course that is the challenge. If we really want something, it's hard to let go. As they say in Buddhist teaching, release all hope of fruition. Yet keep striving. Such a powerful dialectic.

So that has become one of my my meditations of late. There are a few things I want, and I am picturing them, feeling the emotional charge, and working to release any attachment or heaviness (another form of attachment) to them. We shall see how successful I am....... but then, clinging to "success" shoots apart the whole non-attachment bit. Oh, easy it is not. so I guess I'll just continue to observe, and see what blooms. I'd love to hear your stories of manifestation and synchronicity. Won't you post your stories for me? What is silly, hard, and fascinating about these energies in your life?

Healing Shame: The Work of Seven Generations

I recently came across the book Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson, Ed.D., and read it voraciously. I have never considered myself a punitive parent, for we don't hit our kids and have tried to frame time-outs as calming down time. But reading this book I saw how we are still using shame and blame to try to coerce our children (mostly my daughter, for my son is only 14 months old) into behaving in ways we condone. Like getting angry at my daughter for interrupting, or sending her to her room for screaming at us. In Positive Discipline Nelson discusses how erroneous it is to think that a child will do better by being made to feel worse, that in fact a child doesn't sit there in time out or when mom is yelling at her and think, man, I need to be a better person. She just feels bad about herself and angry at mom. She feels powerless and acts accordingly. I highly recommend the book or its companion, Positive Discipline A-Z -- 1001 Solutions to Everyday Parenting Problems for any and every parent.

But beware. In evaluating and changing most of the ways I interact with my daughter (with whom I've been battling since birth), I'm going through a powerful and intense process. My rational brain says that "all" I'm doing is learning a new skill set in order to deal with something that hasn't been working (punitive discipline works in the moment but over time makes it all worse). But I'm exhausted, achy, and emotional. I'm angry and sad. I even woke up with a mild bout of mastitis (which is all about anger and boundaries and service).

Every time my daughter misbehaves or does something annoying or makes a request of me, I stop, notice my gut reaction, and then draw on this new skill set. This means 100 times a day I have to evaluate and change my patterns of relating. On an energetic level, I realized, this is huge. I'm changing the energy between me and my daughter, me and my husband, and even between me and my parents. I realized, for instance, that the sadness that plagued me the other morning was all the stuffed sadness and shame I felt as a child when punished.  Again, my family was not terribly strict or punitive, nor were my parents overly permissive. I'm seeing, though, in reading this book, how subtle and pervasive our culture of shame and blame truly is. How we hand that shame down from generation to generation, an undetected language about the self and the world.  I am feeling not only my unconscious sadness finally arising, but also sadness about how surprisingly difficult it is to be kind but firm all the time, telling my daughter with my actions, words, and tone of voice that she is valued, that she belongs, that I love her unconditionally - how awful that this is so hard! I am also, I suspect, feeling the sadness of all the generations past who were shamed and blamed and told they didn't matter because that is what people did and still do with each other, especially children.

For it is said that when you heal an emotional wound, you heal the seven generations behind you. I see them all, my parents, my grandparents, their parents, on back before my ancestors came to the United States, all carrying these weights of not belonging, not being good enough, being "bad" people. I can feel these weights. Feel the sadness and confusion and longing. Powerful and overwhelming.

And then there is the anger. I have a sneaky temper. I lash out, I realized, when I feel trapped and discouraged because I can't control others or myself. My father was the same way. Yelling or banging a wooden spoon on the sauce pan hard enough to break it are ways of releasing the fire of frustration that boils over with humbling regularity. I have worked so so hard to manage this anger, and even more so now as I use positive discipline techniques. The only problem is the anger is still there. It rises like bile when I am in my reaction phase. I breath, do snake breath (check "Managing Mama Rage" by Tera Freese in the November-December 2010 issue of Mothering magazine - a timely article for me), try to cool down, and then deal with my daughter or husband's offending behavior in a more enlightened manner. But by the end of the day, partly due to my being totally yin deficient, wherein the kidney cannot "cool" the liver, I have a very cranky bit of anger churning inside me. Not pretty. I'm doing meditation, talking, writing, and breathing. I'm noticing my anger. I'm noticing my usual patterns of reacting. I'm healing and changing and it isn't easy.

I have been a spiritually minded person my whole life. I have done therapy and bodywork. NET and Reiki. Retreats, expressive arts therapy, massage. But the most powerful and intense path of healing I've encountered is conscious parenting. Being a mom is hard work. It is healing work, for myself, my children, and the seven generations before me. I wish you guidance and strength on your healing journey. Blessed be.

Green Spirituality Library

If I were to create a library of books on green spirituality, here is what I would include:

   



(By the way, I don't make any money from the sales of other author's books here, it's just easy to use the link widget from Amazon.)

Also,

The Way of Hen: Zen and the Art of Raising Chickens by Clea Danaan

The companion to Zen and the Art of Raising Chickens,
Meditation and the Art of Beekeeping by Mark Magill,
also available on Amazon.co.uk






Also check out this list, publications from GreenSpirit.

What else would you include? I'll add to this as I think of and discover other books on green spirituality.

Blessed be and Namaste!

What's So Spiritual About Chickens?

My newest book, Zen and the Art of Raising Chickens: The Way of Hen comes out October 31, 2010. The book examines the renewed popularity of urban and suburban chicken ownership, and delves into how hen keeping can actually be a part of a spiritual life. It sounds silly  - and believe me, there is a lot of silliness about chickens - but when I looked more deeply at the reasons for the backyard chicken movement, I found a depth and meaning not immediately obvious.

People keep chickens in their backyards for sentimental reasons, or because they just like chickens. Raising one's own flock helps one become a little bit more self sufficient. Collecting a few brown eggs every day feels earthy and good. Given the price of free-range organic eggs, raising your own saves a little money. But the desire to keep hens goes beyond these reasons, too, or perhaps over time keeping chickens becomes more than that.

Raising birds in the backyard brings us right up close with the cycle of life. A chicken is a pet that offers us food, nourishing us both emotionally as all pets do and physically, just as we nourish them through our feeding and care. A small flock of farm animals juxtaposed with the bustle of city or suburban life offers hope, that we can have it all, that we are not bound by historical ways of thinking and categorizing, and that we can change. Keeping chickens is also a fun project, and embracing joy and simplicity are key parts of spiritual living.

Do you keep hens or know someone who does? Have you always dreamed of having your own chickens? What have you learned from hen keeping?