Going Slow, Going Within: Family Advent that Honors the Earth

Perhaps it's because my own life has been a roller coaster lately, or because it seems like the whole world is on the brink of utter insanity, but I've really dedicated myself to a calm and peaceful December this year. For me that means fewer gifts, local shopping, and doing crafts and baking when and if I want to. In the Christian faith, Advent (the days leading up to Christmas) is about waiting, pregnant, hopeful, but also with a little trepidation. Remembering to breathe. Honoring the light of those waiting with and for us. Lighting candles in the darkness. In the Pagan tradition, this time is about telling stories, watching the light wane further, and awaiting the return of the Light that we know will soon come. May this time of the year be about inner peace, wisdom, and connection with Spirit for you and your family. Here are a few ideas:

Painted snowflakes and a simpler holiday
season from The Artful Parent (I love this blog).

A gorgeous Yule coloring book for sale from LillianaPress. 

From a wise woman tradition on the Inner Christmas, some thoughts for meditation and journaling.

Elusive Holliday Spirit

I've been lacking the holiday spirit something fierce this year. I was even feeling a pretty deep bout of depression, and though that has passed, I still look at the Yule tree and feel... nothing. Maybe a little annoyed. Certainly not sparkly and excited.

I remember my mom hating Christmas. She felt stressed by not having money and annoyed that we had to attend a requisite family party with people she didn't like very much. An agnostic, she didn't feel inspired by the nativity. A working-class mom, she didn't really have anything to look forward to like a family vacation or big gifts. I remember feeling sad for her, and puzzled. Now I find myself feeling similarly - but still not really understanding it.

I discussed some of these feelings with my husband, who mostly had big happy Christmases as a boy. He pointed out that part of the season is darkness. That feeling that darkness, even in the absence of specific stresses or causes of grief, is normal and maybe even healthy, if not honored in our consumerist, tech-heavy culture. That helped, but still I longed for that sparkly feeling I had as a kid.

This evening the white lights of the Yule tree gently illuminate the dark living room. A tiny sliver of that old feeling smoldered somewhere in my chest. I contemplated the sensory details of Christmas that make up the season for me: the sweetness of  pine and citrusy oranges, the glow of white and colored lights in the cold darkness, wood smoke filtering through the night, the tangy smell of Scotch tape. It is that smell, Scotch tape, that illuminated my sense of loss this year.

A big part of Christmas as a child was getting gifts. Not the greed of stuff, but the delicious anticipation of mysteries revealed: what was in those brightly wrapped packages? Dig through the packing peanuts for oddly shaped parcels from Grandma Bobbie. Appreciate the crisp, precise corners and shiny, narrow tape on gifts from Grandma Dulin and Aunt Sharon. Learn to not expect much on Christmas day, for Dad would say it would be a "small" Christmas this year, and I would assure him I didn't care; and then gifts would overflow beneath the tree - what mystery of where it all came from!

Christmas -- and Yule as well -- is about mystery. What is that big star in the sky? What is the gift of this babe in the manger? How can this young girl Mary birth a child? Will the Sun return? In the wrapped gifts and lights in darkness, we honor mystery.

Then the other sensory delights: coffee and a bookstore with my dad. Cookies baked and turkeys roasted. The tradition for several years of my aunt Jo's spicy sausage in spaghetti on Christmas Eve.  Then sitting together and opening gifts on the bright morning of Christmas Day. Family - coziness - safety.

That is the other side of the season - being safe. Safe around the fire while the wolves howl out in the snowy night. This juxtaposition of safety and mystery has been with this season for millenia. With our wrapped gifts and strung lights and caroling we experience many of the same feelings our ancestors did.

And this year, as the mom who knows what's in all the wrapped boxes, who makes all the plans and cooks much of the food, I feel little sense of mystery. And in light of shootings and kidnappings and climate change, I also don't feel particularly safe. I feel tired and afraid and I'm not expecting any miracles. So, no holiday spirit.

I want it back, that sense of safety and mystery. Perhaps, understanding the nature of my loss, I can regain it a little by listening lightly to the quiet beneath the bustle. Noticing appreciation when it arises, rather than forcing myself into an "attitude of gratitude." Allowing the grace of the season to fall like a snowflake onto dry grass, or land like a chickadee on the feeder - not forcing or bursting forth, but just sensing the grace present and allowing it to be in a moment of thanks.

The True Meaning of Yule

We hear a lot about the true meaning of Christmas, and I remember when I was a practicing Christian the holiday held a deeper meaning for me. Now my spirituality includes not just mystical Christianity but also Paganism and a sprinkling of Buddhism and Taoism. So while I celebrate Christmas Day, largely this is because of family tradition, and because many Christmas traditions come from Yule traditions. I think more about Mary and her unassisted birth than about the baby she bore (at least on Christmas). As a Pagan I also celebrate Yule, the day after Winter Solstice. The holiday celebrates the return of the light through the rebirth of the Sun. As I stared at the Sun low in the sky one afternoon last week, I wondered about a deeper meaning to Yule - the real meaning of Yule, if you will. In Christianity the "reason for the season" is the promise of the baby who will grow up to save humanity from darkness. Is there a larger magic to Yule as well?

I believe that we are all on the path of the Christ. We can all become Christed, or evolve into Christ consciousness, also called non-dual consciousness (for a deeper discussion of this see Jim Marion's Putting on the Mind of Christ). The journey towards non-dual consciousness is central to our incarnating on Earth. The birth of the Christ child is a metaphor for our own continual rebirth into higher levels of consciousness. And therefore so is the story of the birth of the light at Yule. It is our own light that is reborn at Yule.

I began to see how the Wheel of the Year, the progression of holidays spiraling through time as the Earth revolves around the Sun, is a story about our evolution as souls. The story of the God and Goddess through the Sabbats is our story. In fact, not just the earth's journey around the Sun, but the universe's story is our story. Or rather, our story is the universe's. As the universe exploded into being from the void, so did our souls. As it expands into the unknown, so do we. Eventually we will rejoin with the Creator, as planets do when their star expands into a supernova. All is one Story.






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Finding the True Self: Yuletide Dreams

A chilly snow fell all day; we went out several times to replace the frozen chicken water. A few days ago I collected eggs so frozen they had cracked the shells. The birds are puffed up and probably not terribly comfortable, but they are fine. It's a dry snow, so different from the heavy wet doom that fell in my childhood in the Pacific Northwest. It makes me love the Rocky Mountains, love Denver, love winter.

We put up our Yule tree yesterday, purchased from Tiri's garden which offers sustainably harvested trees and supports children's charities. Christmas when I was little was about my dad, who died a year and a half ago. Putting up the tree and listening to carols reminds me of him. I miss him. When I was younger I always dreamed of the Christmas I would have one day, my mom cooking dinner with excitement for a new recipe, my dad watching from the couch with a twinkle in his pale blue eyes, my husband and I laughing, and my children playing by the tree. This dream Christmas took place in the Pacific Northwest, green and salty and damp. We never had that Christmas, and now we never will.

I remind myself that in reality Dad was unhappy and cranky near the end of his life. The little time he did spend with my daughter, he didn't interact with her much. We found visits awkward because he was so in his own little world. But I can't help but wonder what he would have thought of my son, who is already, at three months old, so like him. They share the eye twinkle, the interested brow wrinkle, the open smile. I can't help but wish that Dad had gotten the medical and psychological help he needed to grow into a healthy sage man so that he could have met my son and spent Christmas with us here in Colorado, or we with them in Washington.

Instead, this year we celebrate with my husband's sister and niece and their families, who have, in all but history, become my family as well. My husband and I have had to do the dance of whose family traditions we will follow, but since we both come from midwestern Germanic stock the traditions aren't so dissimilar. And then my husband and I have also included Yule in the winter celebrations, not formally a part of our childhoods. I feel both sad to let go of the past and filled with joyful gratitude for the present.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I was searching for my birth family. In real life I am not adopted, but in my dream I had been. I told someone that I had to know who I might have been so that I could let go of that person before I could really be my true self. I feel like reflecting on the fantasies I once had around family and the holidays is a lot like that dream. Who did I want to be? Who will I never become? Who am I now? Most importantly, what can I release that no longer serves me, and then whom can I step into as my present self? The truth is, while a part of me longs for the Pacific Northwest and childhood dreams and traditions, I hate heavy wet snow and love the dry mountain air. I love my chickens. I love that we bought a sustainable tree that supports charities. All of these yuletide gifts are tied to the present in Colorado. So the fantasy yuletide I once dreamed of back in Washington state in some ways will never come true, and yet is manifest in ways I never could have dreamed of.

I imagine my father standing in my snowy backyard, laughing at the chilly puffed-up chickens, a cigarette dangling from one hand. He would have loved it here. I believe in some ways he is here, in me, in my son, in the life I've created as a suburban homesteader, for it was he who planted those seeds of self-sustainability when I was a child. Now he is free to be his true self, unencumbered by the struggles of his mortal life. Just as I am free now to continue to seek my true self as well.

Fiery Herbs for Yuletime

Yule marks a time of transition from revelry, marked by Jupiter (Sagittarius), to responsibility, marked by Saturn (Capricorn). It is at Yule that we light great fires against the cold and dark, dancing, laughing and storytelling through the Longest Night. We are called to balance: light and dark, inside and out. It is up to us to light our fires and keep them tended, yet at the same time to pause for inner reflection and stillness.

Many of the herbs associated with this time of year are about fire and protection. Holly, juniper, pine, mistletoe and rosemary are all associated with the element of fire. Their essences burn away that which is unwanted: viruses, fear, old habits, poverty, loneliness. These herbs purify and protect. Using them throughout your home, in cooking, and in ritual will help you burn away the cold while protecting inner calm and quiet. You might put rosemary in your bread, hang up a mistletoe branch, or rub pine-scented oil into aching muscles.

One specific way to use these herbs is while cleaning. While mopping your kitchen in preparation for Yule, light a pine-scented candle. Put a few drops of rosemary, juniper, or cypress essential oil in your mop water. Burn a little cedar incense, and sprinkle a pinch of salt on the floor. While you mop and scrub, chant the following:

With fire, water, air, and earth,
I bless my home,
My heart and hearth.

Visualize what you want to bring into your home. See your family and your guests happy, healthy, and whole. Feel the inner peace that comes from the fiery protection of winter herbs as it soaks into your spirit, home, and heart.

Yule blessings to you and yours.

Solstice, Yule, Christmas: Family Traditions and Spiritual Paths

In my house we celebrate Yule (the shortest day of the year), Solstice (the first day of winter) and Christmas. This year we have plans to visit my mom and brother for Christmas, so we gathered with my husband's family the weekend before. Much to my pagan heart's delight, this happened to be Yule. I baked a Buche de Noel, a traditional French desert honoring the log burnt through the longest night of the year that will light next year's hearth fire. It is also a symbol of fertility.

We purchased a small real tree this year to celebrate Solstice and give the fairies a place to stay during the long night. My daughter and I undecorated it today, and then redecorated it with bird seed treats and the popcorn chain as a Yule gift to the animals.

How are you celebrating your holidays? How do you honor the earth in your traditions?

A blessed holiday season to you!

Green Gifts for Less: Christmas or Yule from the (Green) Heart for Kids and Adults

This Christmas, make a statement about your love of the earth and your love for friends and family without spending much money. This article includes many ideas for beginner and advanced crafters, plus a few more eco-friendly gifts that do not require any “making” on your part.

First, you probably have more cards to send than gifts to buy. You can save green - cash and the planet – by either writing a blog as your card and emailing a link to everyone on your list, or make your own cards. Here are ideas for both.

Holiday Cards

•Write a blog: Check out blogger.com to set up a family blog. If you have basic computer skills (you’re reading this, aren’t you?), you can set up a blog. You can upload photos and videos and write out your annual letter all in the same blog. It costs nothing (unless you scan pictures at a copy center), and once you set it up, you have it there forever. You can update on other holidays, or just reserve for Yule.

•Make your own: Use last year’s cards cut up, craft paper, pressed flowers and leaves, stencils, stamps, stickers, paint, glitter… you name it! Buy recycled cardstock, fold in half, and cut down the middle to make two small cards (or cut the whole sheet in fourths for less bulk – decorate one side and write on the other). This is a great family activity for a snowy day or even on Thanksgiving afternoon. Take turns addressing envelopes or use your computer to print out labels. Even easier, but possibly more expensive, you can make one card and take it to a copy center to duplicate as many times as you need.

Now on to home-made gifts. Here are some ideas for earth-friendly gifts you can make, organized by age group.

For Infants

•Organic cotton chew toys like simple dolls – Purchase organic cotton (may have to order online) in bright primary colors. Wash once. Then fold in half, and cut out simple shapes of fruits, veggies, animals, or people. Stitch around the edges by hand or with a machine, leaving a small opening. Stuff tightly with organic batting. Stitch up the hole.

•Knitted toy fruits and veggies – if you know how to knit, try making fruits and veggies! These knitted veggies are really cool.

•Bum salve – Good for a baby or new parent, bum salve is really easy to make. Pour four tablespoons of organic olive oil into a double boiler (a bowl over a pot of water is fine) over medium low heat. Add a tablespoon each of dried calendula leaves and lavender leaves. A tablespoon of comfrey leaf is nice, too. Let sit on low-ish heat for twenty minutes. Strain the oil and put it back on the double boiler. Grate a tablespoon and a half to two tablespoons of beeswax into the oil and stir till the wax is melted. Remove from heat. Let cool, stirring occasionally for even consistency. Put into a sterilized (with boiling water) little jar.

Here are ideas for gifts for kids.

•Knitted scarves, mittens, or even sweaters – If you already knit, this a an easy choice. Try some new wools, add in sparkly wools for kids, and go for their favorite colors. If you can’t knit, check out a local class for beginners. Knitting has become very big lately, and is a great way to work with your hands.

•Fleece (buy recycled at http://www.wildrosefarm.com/) scarves, blankets – If you don’t knit and don’t want to, fleece blankets are easy to make. Cut a rectangle of desired size – small for babies, larger for kids. Hem the edges, or just leave plain. Or, cut one-inch wide fringe all around the edge, or on two opposite ends. Leave it just like this, or for an even fancier blanket, choose two complementary fabrics and tie the fringe together. See here for more instructions and pictures.

Kids love to make things themselves. What about assembling them a kit for something they can make, like

•Kits for musical instruments out of recycled materials: Shakers can be made out of paper mâche and used light bulbs or out of clean empty containers filled with beans, for instance. For some really great ideas, check out bashthetrash.

•Kits for fleece blanket – you cut, they assemble (see above link for instructions).

•Garden kit – a little ceramic or peat pot, a little bag of soil, and seeds. Write a little poem about planting seeds and include it.

If you’re looking for a nice gift a child can make, what about:

•Salt dough ornaments or figurines – Mix one cup salt with two cups white flour. Slowly knead in one cup water. Leave plain or color with a few drops of tempera paint. Cut with cookie cutters and make a whole in the top with a toothpick to make an ornament, or mold into figurines. Cook at 250 degrees for 2 hours. Let cool, and protect with gel medium if desired. What about a chess set, chunky beads, favorite characters, or little charms?

•Knitted scarves – Kids can learn to knit at about age five or six. Take a class together or learn from an elder!

•Paint a t-shirt – Wrap a plain t-shirt around a 8-10 piece of cardboard and tape on the back so that the area you want painted is showing. Give your kids fabric paints to decorate. I did this with my two-year old last year with an old white t-shirt for Dad.

•Glittery eggs – Poke holes in the ends of an egg and blow out the insides. Rinse clean with hot water. Glue glitter and gems to the egg, and attach a gold wire to hang on a tree.


Alright, now onto home-made gifts for the adults in your life.

•Knit a sweater or sew a robe or other clothing

•Homemade natural cleaners – Mix a tablespoon of white vinegar and a teaspoon of rubbing alcohol into a 1.5 pint mixing bottle of water. Add five to ten drops of a favorite essential oil, like pine, lavender, thyme or orange.

•Homemade tea blends – The possibilities are endless. For a nice soothing tea, blend equal parts dried lemon balm and chamomile with a pinch of valerian.

•Bath bombs, salt scrubs, salves, or bath salts – see
http://www.teachsoap.com/index.html
http://www.essortment.com/family/homemadebathsa_saej.htm
http://www.glenbrookfarm.com/herbs/saltscrubs.html

•Garden kits – A pretty pot, soil, and collection of seeds. Herbs are good, as are annual flowers. They are usually pretty cheap this time of year, too!

•Handmade Christmas ornaments: quilled paper, decorated pine cones, dried orange slices, painted nuts; there are a ton of ideas here.

•Sachets – sew up a little baggie out of pretty fabric scraps, fill with a blend of dried lavender, rose petals, cloves, or patchouli


So – what if you don’t have time or aren’t feeling crafty or there is a person on your list who is just not into crafted items? Don’t despair! You can still send an eco-friendly gift by giving:

•Money donated to Heifer International or another charity: http://www.heifer.org/
These gifts are in all denominations of money, and help a person, family, or community in need. You purchase an animal or share of an animal or care (like midwifery care or a well) in a loved one’s name, and they get a card thanking them for their help.

•Money into a college savings fund – Have any kids on your list? Ask their parents if they have a college fund like a 529 and offer to put money into it.

•Gift certificate for massage or spa day – This supports small business and healers while offering the gift of joy and relaxation.

And of course an eco-friendly book is always a great idea, like Sacred Land or Voices of the Earth! For more on these titles, check out my website, intuitivegardening.net.

I hope you found some ideas here! Please feel free to post some of your own. This is just a beginning of suggested eco-friendly gifts to make or give. What if we all stopped gifting plastic toys and unwanted chachkas! We could change the world!

Happy happy holidays!





Wreath image from http://giftideas357.com/2008/01/homemade-christmas-gift-ideas-come-from.html