Solstice, Yule, Christmas: Family Traditions and Spiritual Paths

In my house we celebrate Yule (the shortest day of the year), Solstice (the first day of winter) and Christmas. This year we have plans to visit my mom and brother for Christmas, so we gathered with my husband's family the weekend before. Much to my pagan heart's delight, this happened to be Yule. I baked a Buche de Noel, a traditional French desert honoring the log burnt through the longest night of the year that will light next year's hearth fire. It is also a symbol of fertility.

We purchased a small real tree this year to celebrate Solstice and give the fairies a place to stay during the long night. My daughter and I undecorated it today, and then redecorated it with bird seed treats and the popcorn chain as a Yule gift to the animals.

How are you celebrating your holidays? How do you honor the earth in your traditions?

A blessed holiday season to you!

Another Earthy Yule Gift: Cloth Menstrual Pads

"The average woman throws away about 10,000 pads or tampons in her life. In Australia alone this is over 1,385 million disposables per year which are either incinerated (bad for the ozone layer...) or put into land fills (where the plastic backing will take approximately 500 years to partially biodegrade...)." (MoonPads.com)

Here is another suggestion for an ecological Yule/Christmas gift for a girlfriend, sister, or daughter. These will save her money and save the planet. You can purchase a kit of cloth menstrual pads or a reusable cup like the Keeper, Diva Cup or MoonCup from these sites:

gladrags.com
lunapads.com
moonpads.com

Or at your local health food store like Whole Foods.

Or you can make your own cloth menstrual pads. I recommend cute, dark flannel and sturdy snaps. Get a pattern by following the cut of a purchased one, or try Jan Andrea's site (a great place for patterns for all sorts of natural cloth items like baby carriers and nursing tops).

Then make a lovely baggie to hold them in. I love the Velvet Vulva - what a way to celebrate our monthly moon blood! You could go simpler with just some dark velvet or brocade. Make a simple bag with a draw string top. Here's a drawstring bag to knit. What a perfect place to store your homemade or purchased cloth moon blood pads!

If this is for a girl who has just hit menarche or a woman who needs some help loving her blood, you could throw in a copy of The Red Tent or Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing. Or how about a homemade necklace or dark red beads and a goddess pendant? Or a dark red journal to record a woman's sacred thoughts?

This year and always, celebrate a woman's inner power by gifting honor, respect, and blood love. Or make a kit like this for yourself, maybe to celebrate a change of life, or just because you deserve it.

Love to all!



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Image of the red tent above from Women Bringing Change to the World.

Dark Night of the Senses

It's been a challenging year. My father passed away in May, I'm squeezing in grad school around my writing and my seventy-hour-a-week job as mother and house manager, and money is forever tight. Then about a month ago everything started breaking down: the car experienced a mystery problem, our cable connection pooped out for two days (and they couldn't figure out what that was either), expected funds arrived late, I was told erroneously that my financial aid had been canceled, the dryer broke, my hair dryer even died, and various other little things just went kaput. All the while I am trying to deal with these issues my beloved and bright three-year-old is chattering away, telling me stories about her stuffed animals and asking the ceaseless Why. Then I discovered a black widow in the garage while cleaning out an old fish tank to house inherited gold fish.

I've been learning a lot about my warrior spirit.

And I've realized most helpfully that I am in a particularly cleansing phase of the Dark Night of the Senses. This phase of spiritual evolution is marked by the bumps and bruises that occur when one transitions from psychic to subtle levels of development. It is about burning up negative energy and attachments and releasing our attachment to and identification with certain states. For instance, when my father died I faced my identity as Daughter and what that meant for me. Dealing with the screwed up car brings me right into my fear of the unknown, my driving anxieties (and all the lovely metaphors thereof), and my fear of asking for help.

The amazing blessing is (besides that I realize I am going through a powerful spiritual shift) that my husband seems to be going through his Dark Night of the Senses at the same time. We face it differently of course: he gets withdrawn and lugubrious and I fry things and get all anxious. But having someone to talk to, to realize our paths with, is deeply crucial to my sanity. I'm a lucky woman.

I've been reading Jim Marion, Trungpa Rinpoche, and Ken Wilbur to help me through (see links below). Marion is a Christian, Trungpa a Buddhist, and Wilbur an integral guy. I need the blend as my path is not really any one religion, but a blend of Pagan, Christian, and Buddhist. Here is what is helping me right now. Marion says we need to send compassion to our "demons" and to trust God. Trungpa teaches witnessing our anxious behaviors and settling into the sadness that lies underneath. Marion talks about the sadness as a cleansing as the old negativities burn up. Again he says to turn to God and live in faith allowing His grace to soothe and guide us. Trungpa talks about acceptance of what is, the natural unfolding of life all around. I see these as different ways of saying the same thing. Trust. Breath. Feel. Offer compassion and softness to myself and the world.

Does anyone know if there are Pagan stories and guidance through the Dark Night? I'd be very curious to read them.

Blessings to all, wherever you are on your path.




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Here are the books that are helping me right now: