Teaching Children Gratitude

Two of my friends and I have a little co-op homeschool preschool for our three four-year-olds and their younger siblings. This month we are focusing on gratitude and giving. I've been giving lots of thought to how we teach our children these core values. The first step of course is to model gratitude, thankfulness, and charity by giving to food and clothing drives, giving what we no longer use to others who would use it, and giving thanks for our blessings like food. We say thank you at our house. We express joy when we something wonderful comes to us, from a ripe peach to a new pair of shoes. And we take care of our belongings and those we love.

'Tis the season for food and clothing drives, so several times during the month I will let my daughter pick out a few extra nonperishable groceries and drop them in the box herself, discussing that this food is for people who maybe don't have enough food right now. We do, so we can share. At preschool next week we are going to play "store," one of my daughter's favorite imaginary games, and our store will have a food drive. My daughter loves to give things, so this will be fun and natural for her.

Throughout the year we discuss if we are "done" with a toy and ready to give it away, either to a younger child like her cousin or to the ARC for someone else to play with. I think this Yule we will do something more formal and buy a new toy for a toy drive.

Generosity is part of gratitude and giving; the other piece is appreciating what we have. I want to include saying grace at our table more regularly. When we do, we remember to thank the food itself. Since we garden and raise chickens, thanking the garden and the chickens who laid the eggs has a reality about it that my daughter gets. As she get older we will discuss where the rest of our food comes from as well. For now we thank the plants, the meat, the earth, the Sun, and the people who prepared the food. Since she is four, my daughter will go from a genuine "Thanks for cooking Dad" (yes she really says this sometimes) to grumping about the food because it's all mixed together. She has been known to say that eating is boring. I want to say, "Tell that to those who don't have enough to eat," but I don't. I don't want to scare her, just instill the foundation for her figuring this out on her own as she grows older.

I'd love to hear other ideas from you, reader. How do we raise our children in a culture of gratitude and compassion?

May you and yours have all you need and more.

The Playful Garden Art and Decor

A fabulous artist friend of mine told me about her sister's store, The Playful Garden, in Napa, California. Their mission is "to bring laughter and playfulness into the home, garden and workplace through the sales of garden decor, as well as garden related products and services." They feature fabulous artwork and whimsical garden decor, some of which is featured for sale online. While shopping for Yule gifts for the gardeners in your life, check out The Playful Garden!

Creating a Memorial Garden

Samhain, also known as Halloween, is a time of year when we honor the souls of those who have passed over. One beautiful way to honor a loved one who has passed is through a memorial garden. This is a great time of year to plan such a commemorative garden that you will plant in the spring. You might consider using a corner of your existing garden, or use this opportunity to plan out that garden you've been meaning to create for years. Or if you have little or no garden space, you might create a potted garden or window box. The size is not important - it really is the thought that counts. As you tend your memorial garden you will be able to commune with your loved one, remembering her or him through renewed life.

My father passed away a year and a half ago. When we returned from his service, which was at the beginning of May, my new grape plants had sprouted. I dedicated them to him. Now every year we will eat grapes in honor of my dad, an avid gardener who always wanted to grow grapes. The magic of vines is that they keep growing, reaching always for more light, just as our spirit does after death. In this way, too, I honor my dad.

To plan your commemorative garden, consider plants or fruits and vegetables your loved one liked. Perennials, plants that return year after year, are best for the central parts of the garden, as they honor eternal life and rebirth. Roses are a nice option if you have the space and inclination. A tree would also be lovely in your garden, such as willow, said to help us conquer the fear of death, or apple, ripe just before Samhain and offering love and healing. Annuals like flowers and vegetables might also be in your memorial garden, especially if your loved one was a gardener or loved a certain fruit or veggie. I bet as you read this several plants that you associate with him or her spring to mind.

Statues or stones can also be included in your garden, from a big ornate angel to a tiny fairy in a window box. Garden stores offer many different styles and sizes, or you could make your own using a stepping stone kit from a craft store. If you have something of your loved one like a piece of jewelry you don't wear, you might bury it in the garden under a plant. The energy of your loved one will infuse the plant as it grows.

In a larger memorial garden, be sure to include a bench or chair for meditation and prayer. When you miss your loved one, go here for solace and to commune with him or her. This chair, and certainly the whole garden, might be a nice place to hold a simple Samhain ritual, or a ritual on the anniversary of his or her death.

Wishing you peace this Samhain and always.





Cat memorial courtesy Kitty Memorial

The Magic of Fall

I made it to fall! I write to you now with a three-week-old baby boy sleeping on my lap. Big sister and Dad are running errands. Sun streams in through my office window, and I can see the just-yellowing leaves of our box elder outside. I love fall. I love that it rained last night and the yard is pasted with yellow leaves. I love that we've a few carrots and small bunches of chard, spinach, and broccoli greens in the garden. We started another compost bin, made a run extension for the chickens so they stop wrecking the rest of the yard, and drained the pond (we've a very small pond - more of a water feature). I have so many plans for spring (like a plum tree to plant over my son's placenta, now sleeping in the freezer), but I'm content to let them sit. I am thoroughly enjoying the cooler days and the promise of snow. Life is good.

I tend to be a busy-body, especially when it comes to the garden. I like projects. I like homesteading. I love my miniature farm (which frankly I don't want much larger). But this fall is about slowing down. About letting myself rest. I'm so not good at that - but the sweet little man sleeping in my lap is teaching me how much I must. As the Equinox came and passed I was learning to balance two children, a home, and a career. I will continue to strive for such a balance over the next many years, but right now, with the balance of autumn outside in the garden, the extreme need for balance and rest press me into place. Let go. Let be. Trust. All is well. That is the magic of this fall for me.

Sacred Sister Mary Jane offers great organic farming advice

As I wind down towards the birth of my baby boy (due in four weeks), I'm just in an incubating stage. So I thought I'd just share a link I found that might be of use to my dear readers. In my book Sacred Land: Intuitive Gardening for Personal, Political & Environmental Change I profile several "sacred sisters" who are women making a difference in the gardening world. Here is another, Mary Jane Butters.

I discovered her magazine and website MaryJanesFarm. I like this page offering seven tips on tons of organic topics. Her magazine and website are geared towards women living an organic lifestyle and running a farm - small like mine to rather larger like hers. (Well, my homestead isn't really a farm, but I can dream. How would you define a farm anyway? I'm thinking 100 sq feet of organic garden space and four chickens might count for something?)

Have you any inspirational women whose stories you would like to share here? Please feel free to leave a comment!

Letting Go of Garden Losses

Maybe next year I'll follow my own advice. I gave it to myself last year, but apparently I wasn't listening.

Last year I swore I would not plant any gourds - no squash, melon, or pumpkins. The squirrels eat all of them. No matter what. I wrap them in bird netting and cover them with blood meal (or menstrual blood, but this year all that is nourishing my babe - don't mean to gross anyone out, just telling it like it is). I can't spritz them with pepper spray because I fear it would get into my child's eyes and mouth.

I also told myself not to plant corn. Takes up tons of space, uses lots of water, and fertilization is spotty.

Much of my garden right now is squirrel-ravaged gourds and short, spotty corn. Also green tomatoes that are just thinking about turning red. Maybe. Tiny carrots and beets that don't seem to want to get bigger. A teensy patch of fall spinach in the middle of a bed I over planted with seeds that never germinated, or maybe got scratched by chickens.

The garden actually looks pretty good because all those squash and pumpkin plants have huge, vibrant leaves. With sunflowers (minus the actual flower) poking up in their midst. And corn that looks like it's getting somewhere. And huge bushy cherry tomato plants. Dotted with lots of little green orbs. But we're not eating much out of the patches right now. Oh well.

Being 35 weeks pregnant gives one a certain dose of accepting reality. The garden is what it is. We've had lots of lettuce, the carrots and beets and chard may be smallish but are yummy. The tomatoes will ripen, or in early September I'll make green tomato soups. The squash plants get added to the compost (probably why I have so many squash plant volunteers this year - last year's squirrel food!).

And next year I am planting only the things my family eats and squirrels don't, like green beans, tomatoes, and more carrots. Maybe. I'll let you know if I actually manage to follow my own advice to myself. By then I'll have a four year old and a baby starting to crawl. In addition to chickens and squirrels. Hmm.

Ack! The Chickens are Drving Me Batty!

So I love my four renegade chickens. Renegade because we're kind of violating zoning laws to have them. But they are much quieter than our neighbors' dogs, we keep the coop safe and clean, and they will, I hope, soon lay eggs.

Meanwhile.

They love more than anything to do their little diggy chicken dance in bare dirt. Which in my garden means where I have just planted fall seeds. My daughter and I put in cabbage, spinach, carrots, mache, peas and chard. The chickens watched, blinking from bottom to top (did you know chickens blink upside-down?) with their orange eyes thinking, yes, my pretties, yes.... and then as soon as my back was turned they danced their happy selves across the dirt. And the bird netting we put up to keep them out. Then they ate the leaves off my only Brussel's sprout plant, which was only three inches tall and not getting taller, but still.

And then. They waddle over to the back patio and poop as all grazers do, randomly, prefering the same spots we prefer to walk. Like the door mat and under the patio table. My daughter shouts, "Just look out for the slimy poo right outside the door!" So I use the hose sprayer and spray down the patio and the mat, feeling bad for using so much water (the broom us just a mess for this task). I set the mat on the grass to dry. Ten minutes later it has three chicken turds on it.

They've been staying in the yard so far, but the other day it was cloudy and cool, so the driveway at the side of the house wasn't such a hot desert. Chickens like shade. They stay away from hot sun. They also like to explore. So once the driveway was not so hot, they thought they'd go check out the neighborhood. Did I mention we're not really supposed to have chickens?

So I, big pregnant belly and all, rigged up a makeshift fence between the garage and house. My materials included a rotted, nail-infested old porch banister and some leftover lengths of hardware cloth from the chicken run. It won't keep them in if they really want to go exploring (only a matter of time), but it will slow them down. Not safe for when the baby starts crawling, though.

Time for some real boundaries. Such a theme in my house these days, what with an almost-four-year-old princess, two spoiled cats, and now four cocky chickens.

My plan is to get some flexible fencing like deer netting and fence off a section of yard extending their run. It won't be safe from predators like the run and coop are, so we'll still have to put them in at night and keep half an eye on them, but it will keep them contained, give them more room to roam, and give them a shady area to play in.

Now I just have to do that project. After I do a few loads of laundry and bake some bread. The homesteading dream!